When many of us think of self-worth, we think about our value and standards, that includes things such as relationships, jobs and general life endeavours. And sometimes we sail along, feeling ok, but there are those times when we don’t, which may be a good time to check in on our situations.
I recently had one of those times that provided me with the opportunity to reflect on my standards.
I spent a little time with someone, who at first few glances seemed nice. However, it’s amazing the difference a day makes… A little more time revealed their true colours, in the form of little ‘digs’ my way, in addition to more criticism when I’d speak up about it.
I’ve heard of this referred to as “crazy making” before (although there is technical jargon for it too) – where someone is trying to undermine you and then tries to blame you or make it seem like there’s something wrong with you for noticing it. Talk about a turn off.
My advice to anyone in a situation like this – run! And that’s basically what I did. I communicated to the person that I don’t want to live my life being constantly criticized about what I do, don’t do or how I do it. And nor should you.
Life is too short to surround ourselves with people that try and make us feel inadequate. We can’t thrive in that kind of environment, nor is it healthy.
In her book, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, Christine Northrup, M.D. indicates, “Illnesses are affected by our emotional state,” and our psychological state can be a predictive factor in the course of illnesses such as cancer. She adds, “There is no disease that isn’t mental and emotional as well as physical.” Nobody is worth sacrificing both your self-worth and health for.
If you’re in any situation that you suspect isn’t supporting positive feelings about yourself, take a moment to check your self-worth. Where is it on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being excellent)? And ask yourself, “Do I feel good about myself when I’m in this situation, or not?” And does it seem to be getting worse? You’ll get your answer instantly. All you have to do is trust and listen to it, and strive for more supportive situations.
The Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) indicates that feeling valued is a significant part of receiving support. We thrive in places and around people that support our efforts and are understanding of our challenges. And when we feel good about ourselves, the gateway to endless possibilities in our lives opens.