Feeling deflated, maybe depressed, and having a hard time seeing how things can work out for you because you’ve tried so hard so many times before. “One step forward, two steps back” feels like your motto. You’ve been here too many times and just don’t know what to do anymore?

You’re not alone. I’ve felt this way before and so have many other people. The frustrating part is that in spite of all of your efforts, progress that you’ve put into moving forward, learning and doing all of the things you’ve read that you’re supposed to do, here you are once again, in a place that you don’t want to be.

Maybe you’re even wondering about what the point in trying is if you’re going to keep on ending up stuck… I’ve felt this way many times. The difference now is that I understand that to swim in those emotions is to invite more of it and more of the same outcomes into your life as a result. So, now when I wonder about what the point is, I weigh my options.

For example, if I’m feeling down and like my efforts seem pointless, one of my ‘go tos’ is to remind myself to have faith. Given my mindset, wondering what the point is even to have faith, I then ask myself, “What’s the alternative?” I know that the alternative to maintaining my faith and believing that things can work out, is stress, worry and struggle and more of how I don’t want to feel or what I don’t want in my life. Usually, that reminder gives me a bit of a kick in the butt. Do I want option A (to feel better and to continue to progress) or option B (stay in stress, worry and struggle and more negative outcomes from that mindset)? Entertaining negative thoughts only breeds more negative thoughts and outcomes.

I have many tools that I’ve used to get unstuck in various ways throughout my life. Some are for large issues, and some for the smaller ones or daily glitches that can interfere with the flow of my day. The key is to catch yourself before you start to spiral too far, to the point where it interferes with your day, and things like relationships, work and so on.

Be your own observer. It takes practice if you’re not used to being aware of your thoughts, but it’s well worth it. A negative feeling or thought can become a hiccup in your day instead of a week-long downward slope into what can feel like the abyss.

Awareness of your thoughts can be as easy as simply paying attention to how you feel. If you’re feeling great, you’re on the right track (or train of thoughts), however, if you’re feeling down, stressed or worried, you need to change it up and get to a place where you feel like you’re progressing in your day in some way again.  

One way to do this is to counter your negative thoughts. What’s the point? It’s your happiness, health, children’s or spouse’s livelihood and so on. Think of something that is driving you to do what you do everyday… Is it a long-term goal or passion, or your family’s well-being? Remind yourself why your efforts are important. For me, it’s my family and to give them the best life I can, as well as where I want to be in my life with work, surroundings and so on.

Another trick to this is to give yourself an emotional boost. This is the state you need to be in to create, be productive, have clear thinking and to get unstuck (un-muddled by the chemicals of stress!). You can do this with up-beat music, a walk outside, a chat with a friend (the ones that leave you feeling better, not worse!), watch an inspiring video (Ever see the movie “Finding Joe” on You Tube?), or listen to an inspiring podcast (I’ve got a few that might help at https://anchor.fm/cheryl-patterson9/). These things only take a few moments and can help get you back on track with your day.

You don’t have to fix the bigger picture all at once. Small steps like the above can help get you through an hour, or a day… And the next day is a new beginning. A small step at a time to get through is a step forward. Or as Martin King Jr. put it “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step” (“I Have a Dream,” 1963).

Related:

Anxiety
Stress, Frustration, Anger
How to Curb Your Loneliness
What Are Your Synchronicities Telling You?